Ikea Pt. 2: Assembly

of course, you be wondering: how did Ikea Bed Assembly go? here's the 411. I located the necessary screwdrivers (philips and regular head) no problem. that is to say: things were where they should be, plus I chose the actually appropriate tool, rather than opting for the Swiss Army Knife, which itself is a far better choice than the dime or spoon that I used to use. so right off, things looked green. I should've opened the big box from the side because the pieces kinda clattered when I cut all the tape. no injuries but a word to the wise. the instructions are wordless, supposedly for the stupidest of customers, I guess. or else they couldn't find anyone to translate Swedish into any of those other languages that are out there (my guess). a couple of pictures indicated that if things are going shitbucket, you can call Ikea. well, I hope you get more than a recording. the recording I heard yesterday spent a lot of time redirecting me to Ikea's website, but I was in the car, see, so I think I was within my right to call for directions. anyway, another set of instructional pictures left me a little confused. the 1st showed a fellow with a broken Ikea item. the 2nd picture showed the same man working on a rug. his Ikea item was unbroken. I infer that I needed a rug. we have carpeting here but no rug. I know I took a risk, but I plunged on, working on the carpet. I perspicaciously opened the bag of bolts and screws and segregated and counted them. working in a close space, I got the frame together, no worries. this was the point when I thought I could manage to break the thing. that I didn't do so notches a positve mark on my permanent record. 3 pictures baffled me for a bit, but I finally gleaned that the metal rail parts should be attached according to the thickness of your mattress. I therefore found the tape measure exactly where it is supposed to be and measured the mattress. with that thickness measurement I could proceed properly. holes in the rails are oval shape, offering an odd amount of leeway, which I couldn't figure. there's also an extra hole on the frame, dunno why. the screws I was to use seemed to be too big but there was no other option. they kinda crap up the fine Swedish particle board when they go in. for that matter, the frame is held together with 2 wood dowels and a metal bolt at each corner. doesn't seem enough but I'll trust Ikea implicitly and completely. on top of that went the wooden slats. I thought they'd be a little hard to handle but they weren't. I should mention that I've recently put together 7 Office Max bookcases, so, you know, I'm something of a veteran carpenter and builder here. oh wait, before the slats were these 2 metal rods. actually 4 rods, which slide together to make 2 adjustable ones. one little screw holds the double rods together and 3 more attach them in a vee to the frame. the screws barely fit, and don't seem very strong. and I dunno from anything what these rods do. certainly they don't support. I'm thinking it's some kind of Swedish busy work, or a Swedish joke played upon the rest of the world. after the slats came the drawers. by this time Beth was helping, anxious to see the finished product. the drawers offered no particular challenge. the deal with them: the drawers have casters. we attached 4 to each drawer. the drawers are free of the frame. you could get these for your bed, you really could. so basically, I met the challenge head on, and succeeded. when you get your Ikea furniture, and meet with a problem, give me a call!