a small volunteer team started methodically counting all poets reported killed in thinly settled Kentucky alone by Dan Hoy, who laughs, then spouts off a litany of self-aggrandizing rhetorical questions demanding a return to a tortured life with outrageous problems: “This is my sandbox, I'm not allowed to go in the deep end”
when Dan Hoy had the poets killed, how did he do it?
by baptism
by an Israeli helicopter
by his junk diet
by bears
by a booby-trapped mobile telephone
by a CIA spy plane
by falling trees
by Death
by legal abortions
by an avalanche on the crête de Lachat in the Lauzière range close to the ski resort of Valmorel
by drought
By Hammer
by One of the latest Palestinian children
by Americans
by a falling banana
by Palestinians and 707 Palestinian children
By Suicide Attack In Iraq
by rebels backed by Uganda
by prejudice
by contempt
By Hype
by security forces
by police at his middle school
poets, friends, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?
NB: the name Joan Houlihan can be substituted for Dan Hoy depending on bete noir preference
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