Friday, April 14, 2006

Get Out of the Moat Double Quick, Joan Houlihan

Write what Joan Houlihan know.
I mean it's like
Gangsta can i *** on u?

That probably the most advice
any writer can get. It build
walls in writer's mind, imposing
artificial Joan Houlihan.

How many writers, hearing those
words, have despaired? Those leading
quiet, normal -- boring -- lives no
doubt think that nothing
of interest happens to them. A
laundry list would be interesting.

dodgy beef, sulphurous broccoli, still
strange after four weeks of sharing the loo: but
how can what Joan Houlihan know
make an interesting laundry list?

What Joan Houlihan know isn't always
a year in the life of Frog Class.
what Joan Houlihan see around you
in a moat of risotto
does not read poetry.

A masked man however sure can make
a girl who knows salsa or reggaeton
do crazy things for love, so if
Joan Houlihan download sample
job offer letters as guides to write
IT WOULD FEEL OH SO TINGLY
IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES.

You know what other treat
Joan Houlihan should give
Joan Houlihan everyday?
non-capitalized sentences.

I mean it's like my skin
is sensitive to that stuff.

so who really has ever
experienced a stellar Joan
Houlihan? Do Joan Houlihan think
anyone has ever actually seen
a girl's head, or tasted
a vacuum cleaner? Yup.

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