much affected, but hard to set the words. someone we know lost her husband. part of the homeschool network of which we. husband died at 48 of a heart attack. man seemingly of good health, wholly unexpected. we stopped by yesterday just to bring food, not expecting to have condoling audience. met at the door by an aunt of the widow, who pulled us in, and a sister of the bereabved as well who insisted that we visit. the house was a-buzz with people, much of he homeschool network. they warn us that she will burst into tears, yet she does want company. we pass thru a room with her youngest, a boy of 10, playing a video game with another boy. enter the terrible room, and she does indeed burst into tears. Beth, who knows her (I don't), comforts her. I stand by like a sensitive rock. the woman wails in tremendous pain. wails, keens, that sort of complete compression into the hopelessly expressed. Beth comforted her. there was bustling in the house, a spread of food put out. others in the room went to help, with the woman's parents remaining. then the woman went off to be alone, and Beth and I condoled with the parents. there were a lot of youngsters about. beside the boy there's a girl of 16 and one of 13. the man came home the ngith before feeling ill, went to the emergency ward, after 4 hours died. the bereaved called her mother, staying with the kids. the grandmother screamed at the news. woke the oldest, girl of 16. so she knew that her father had died. the other 2 learned in the morning. the girl of 13 has a blog, to which she wrote, I woke up today, and my father was dead. a gothic sounding statement. but true. I was struck by the children. the girls, particularly. they had a lot of friends in the house. it was this normal girlie embrace, heightened by the cute boys in attendence. the 13 year old, she looked absolutely wired, like she was playing the part of a girl who was strictly involved in normal happy networking. and, weirdly, the homeschool network had a dance scheduled for that night, which the girls intended to attend. I would've recommended that the dance be cancelled. I wasn't worth much in any of this, mostly just agape and aghast at the pain and desperation. the family live in a big Victorian house with an enormous beech tree and these piercing autumnal notes all around. the fading hosta in the yard, leaves turning, death in the house. it was pretty intense.