Monday, October 25, 2004

another opportunity

PRESIDENT/CEO/
DEAR SIR,

REQUEST (naked on a bed) CONFIDENTIAL (between you and me, incorporated) BUSINESS (sex or party favours) RELATIONSHIP (tightly wound spring)

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT (plans to own world) YOUR CONFIDENCE (stupid figures in) IN THIS TRANSACTION (track stars runaway). I AM A HIGH (I have a theory) PLACED OFFICIAL (someone told me) WORKING WITH THE MINISTRY (pudgy fathers) OF FINANCE (the crater in the way), HERE IN BANJUL, GAMBIA, (next stop) WEST AFRICA (end of story). MY DEPARTMENT (thud)(THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT (thud thuds)) RUNS INTO SEVERAL THOUSAND MILLIONS (sexual healing) OF DOLLARS (details) MONTHLY (trust). MYSELF (all stories implied) AND THREE OTHER COLLEAGUES (some time dead) IN THIS DEPARTMENT ARE (moment of history) CURRENTLY (trapdoor) IN NEED (motor response) OF A SILENT (death don’t have no) FOREIGN PARTNER (perfect feeder) WHOSE BANK (collision course) ACCOUNT WE CAN USE (vise grip) TO TRANSFER (impede) THE SUM (minus consideration) OF EIGHTEEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND U.S. DOLLARS (numbered talk sequence weighing). THIS FUND (trait of going) ACCRUED (lost) LEGITIMATELY (lost) BUT DISCRETELY (lost) TO US (as an imaging system) AS COMMISSION (correction unit mining) FROM FOREIGN CONTRACTS (general guidelines), THROUGH OUR PRIVATE (noise function) CONNECTIONS (renegade). THE FUND (pool of bring) IS PRESENTLY (honest remonstrance) WAITING (time pierce) TO BE REMITTED (war event) BY OUR (my) OFFSHORE (in swimming) FUNDS MANAGERS (plastic division) TO ANY FOREIGN (poor) BENEFICIARY (lost world) SUBMITTED BY US (step dance) TO THEM (under) AS THE RECEIVER (referent) OF THE FUND (means).

HOWEVER (or else), BY VIRTUE (travesty incline) OF OUR POSITIONS (naming names) AS CIVIL (slightly) SERVANTS (pressed rat) IN OUR COUNTRY (hole account), WE CANNOT ACQUIRE (deserve) THIS MONEY (moon) IN OUR NAMES (breakers). BECAUSE (sand pit) AS HIGH PLACED (meaning) CIVIL SERVANTS (crusty givens), WE ARE NOT (are) ALLOWED (will) BY THE CIVIL SERVICE (moonbeams) CODE (referring web sites) OF CONDUCT (clucking sounds) TO OWN (vanquish) OR OPERATE (vanquish) BANK (vanquish) ACCOUNTS (no no no) OUTSIDE (inert) OF OUR (owned) SHORES (possible). ON THE OTHER (distance instant) HAND (plying region), IT IS NOT (owning) SAFE (render) FOR US (turns of being careful) TO KEEP (plate tectonics) THE MONEY (heroism) HERE (ours) DUE TO OUR (here) UNSTABLE (useful) POLITICAL (useful) ENVIRONMENT (useful). I (the world larger) HAVE BEEN DELEGATED (trusted pinch of nerve) AS A MATTER OF TRUST (pinching sound) BY MY COLLEAGUES (miss me when I’m gone), TO LOOK (sort) FOR AN OVERSEAS (beginninglessness) SILENT (death don’t have no) PARTNER (mercy) IN WHOSE ACCOUNT (moaning night) WE (moaning) WOULD TRANSFER (read this here) THE US$18,500,000.00 (choppy thought) FOR MUTUAL (save the time) BENEFIT (loss world), HENCE (loath├Ęd melancholy) THE REASON (brush with breath) FOR THIS EMAIL (direly).

WHAT I AM REQUESTING (stellar rebuttal) FROM YOU (down the tube) IS (will be): (1) TO BE OUR SILENT (death like) PARTNER (crutch) AND RECEIVE (lose) THE FUNDS (draining sound) IN YOUR (loss) ACCOUNT (loss) IN TRUST (loss). (2) PROVIDE (lose) A BANK (lose) ACCOUNT (lose) UNDER (lose) YOUR (lose) CONTROL (lose) TO WHICH THE FUNDS (losing) WILL BE REMITTED (Lost). (3)RECEIVE (damage) THE FUNDS (damage) IN YOUR (damage) ACCOUNT (damage), TAKE OUT YOUR COMMISSION (dissatisfying erectile performance) AND KEEP THE REST (deeded debt) OF THE MONEY (erected semaphore) UNTIL I (endless) ARRIVE THERE TO MEET YOU (ending here) AFTER (losing streak) THE TRANSFER IS COMPLETED (fine). OUR PROPOSAL (retch) IS THAT AFTER YOU RECEIVE (lose) THE FUNDS (drive), IT WOULD BE SHARED (lost) AS FOLLOWS: (1) 20% TO YOU (me) AS COMMISSION (loss), WHILE THE REMAINING 80% BELONGS TO MYSELF (time share) AND THE TWO COLLEAGUES (convict) HERE (gone). YOU WILL BE FREE (ended) TO TAKE OUT (lose) YOUR (my) COMMISSION (hole) IMMEDIATELY (garishly) AFTER THE FUNDS HIT (debt mark) YOUR ACCOUNT (looser). SINCE OUR OBJECTIVE (dialing in) IS TO INVEST (bite) THE MONEY (qwerty) IN A FOREIGN (control) COUNTRY (waxiness), IT WOULD BE APPRECIATED (biting fever) IF YOU CAN ALSO HELP (provoke the term limits) US TO INVEST (smearing) OUR OWN MONEY (caulking) INTO PROFITABLE (endless life) VENTURES (squeeze) IN YOUR COUNTRY (helplessness).

HOWEVER, THIS IS OPTIONAL (ending name), AND SHOULD IT NOT BE CONVENIENT (slice of life) FOR YOU TO FURTHER (catch) ASSIST US (bend) WITH INVESTING THE MONEY (sacramental doggy style), WE CAN END OUR COOPERATION (fluff) AFTER YOU HAND (cease and desist) OVER TO US OUR (world view) PERCENTAGE OF THE MONEY (dating process).

THE TRANSACTION, ALTHOUGH DISCRETE (isolated incident), IS LEGITIMATE (parsing fame) AND THE MONEY (goo) WILL BE TRANSFERRED (shadow government) TO YOUR ACCOUNT (flicking) WITH ALL NECESSARY (here’s my card) BACK-UP (flush) DOCUMENTS (pound sign) SHOWING LEGITIMATE (delicate) SOURCE/ORIGIN (swamp noise) OF FUND. THE TRANSFER WILL BE EFFECTED TO YOUR ACCOUNT (sinking island) WITHIN SEVEN (battling) WORKING (loss) DAY AS SOON AS WE REACH (knife sound) AN AGREEMENT (purchase) AND YOU FURNISH ME (fence) WITH A SUITABLE (posture) BANK ACCOUNT (septic tank) FOR RECEIVING THE MONEY. I PLEAD (kill) WITH YOU (killed) ON ONE ISSUE (death), WHETHER (life) YOU ARE INTERESTED (alive) OR NOT (dead), KINDLY (forcefully) DO NOT EXPOSE THIS INFORMATION (deadbeat dad) TO ANY ONE (mothering) ELSE (end). I CONFIRM (upon the meeting of rivers) THAT THE TRANSACTION (tribal rite) IS LEGITIMATE (colouring haze) AND WITHOUT ANY RISKS (screw) EITHER TO OURSELVES (equal, that is, to the thing itself) OR YOURSELF (patient). PLEASE, GIVE ME (fondle) YOUR RESPONSE (endgame) IMMEDIATELY (term) BY RETURN (death smile) MAIL WHILE KEEPING (losing) EVERYTHING CONFIDENTIAL (smirking poise).

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

CHEIF.GERBRAD REMSON
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